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Buh-Bye, Star Jones By: Debbie Schlussel
FrontPageMagazine.com | Thursday, June 29, 2006


So the annoying, insane former tub o' lard, Star Jones has been fired from anti-male yenta-fest "The View," a/k/a "The Spew." One down, 3 more old biddies (and one younger annoying one who pretends to be a conservative but is just an inane airhead) to go.

The best part about this whole thing is that we get to watch the forever annoying Baba Wawa (Barbra Walters to those not in the know) and Jones fighting about it all over the place, not to mention Walters openly lying about the whole thing (and getting caught with a million different stories). It's like "Alien Versus Predator."

starjonesdog.jpgstarjonesswimsuitedition.jpg
Dogs AND Bitches Pose for the Camera

While we're happy to see Jones go, we're outraged that the only reason she was let go was "the research," according to Walters. They didn't fire her when, the day after the 2002 Passover Massacre in Israel, Jones urged understanding of the terrorists because people in "different cultures" deal with their problems in other ways, and "we shouldn't apply our western mores to them." Innocent families were blown to bits while they celebrated Passover at a hotel, but Jones' absurd commentary was, unfortunately, not a reason to fire her in the absurd mind of unduly-respected pseudo-journalist biddy Walters. Nor was it even enough of a reason for Walters or any of the other co-hosts to protest or respond.

Then, there are the other reasons we shan't miss Star Jones:

* Her nationally broadcast discussions of her tampon use. TMI.

* Her statements on "The View" relating the War on Terror to George Bush's penis and unzipped pants.

* Her use of an unemployed Iraq War veteran to denounce the war. We're still waiting for her (and other View co-hosts) to carry out their promise to get him a job. Jones: "We gon' get you a job!" Ri-i-i-i-i-ight.

* Her endless blind love odes to Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, and any other liberal politician of note.

* Her endless discussions of her overextravagant, multi-million dollar wedding, at age 42 to a gay man 10 years her junior, and her many extracted free "gifts," including her free honeymoon courtesy of terrorist-helper United Arab Emirates. Shameless whore that she is, Jones gave the confederation and country Dubai plenty of free plugs on "The View," in exchange.

* Her breast implant operation (openly admitted on the show) and her stomach-stapling surgery (not admitted on the show; she pretended she lost her outer whale of blubber through "exercise").

We also won't miss her pre-"View" antics like celebrating the acquittal of admitted murderer Lemrick Nelson and asking him "How do you feel?" three times. Who cares how he feels. How does the family of his victim-- a Jewish man taking a walk in Brooklyn, who was deliberately targeted by Lemrick for murder because he was a Jew-- feel? Jones didn't care about that.

More on why we hate Star Jones, courtesy of our friends at Am I Annoying. Here's our fave pic of Star Jones reading her own book (which she obviously didn't write)--a book ostensibly about exercise, nutrition and weight loss advice by a fat chick who got a stomach-stapling operation. Snake oil in a (size 45) skirt.

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Star Jones Discovers What's in the Book She "Wrote"

The bad news is that there already rumors the former fatty and still-currently fathead will guest host on CNN's "Larry King Live." Heaven help us (or, at least, help the idiots still watching that silly show).

Buh-Bye, Star Jones. And don't let the door hit you on the way out.

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Visit Debbie Schlussel's website at DebbieSchlussel.com. She can be reached at writedebbie@gmail.com.


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