Are you ready for hope and change?
better hope his bitter half has a change of attitude if she expects to
assume the title of first lady in November. She's been likened to John
Kennedy's wife, what with her chic suits and pearls and perfectly
coiffed helmet hair. But when she opens her mouth, Michelle O is less
Jackie O and more Wendy W - as in Wendy Whiner, the constantly
kvetching "Saturday Night Live" character from the early 1980s.
When last our worldviews collided, back in February, the other Michelle
was expounding on her lack of pride in America. I gave her myriad
reasons to cheer up - from our role in the fall of communism to our
unparalleled generosity to our nation's superior economic system,
cultural resilience, entrepreneurial spirit and ingenuity.
since then, Mrs. Obama has dug in her $500 Jimmy Choo heels and
solidified her role in the campaign as Queen of the Grievance-Mongers.
In one of her few (unintentionally) funny moments during a recent
sit-down with comedian Stephen Colbert, Mrs. Obama claimed, "Barack and
I tend to look at the positives." That's a side-splitter.
National Review's Yuval Levin put it, Michelle Obama is "America's
unhappiest millionaire." And she has the audacity to extrapolate her
misery and her husband's alleged victimization to the "vast majority of
In South Carolina, she called America "just
downright mean" and bemoaned "a nation of struggling folks who are
barely making it every day." And in case you hadn't heard enough of her
carping about how hard it is for a seven-figure-earning family to pay
for ballet lessons and piano lessons and pay off college loans, Mrs.
Oh-Woe-Is-Me was at it again on the campaign trail in Indiana and North
Carolina before yesterday's primary.
On the stump, she warmed
up (or rather, berated) supporters by complaining about how her husband
is an underdog even after he keeps winning primary after primary. With
a scowl etched on her face, she bellyached, "the bar is constantly
changing for this man." Call the waambulance, stat.
the missus explains, is Everyman who has ever been put down by The Man.
And "understand this" (a condescending verbal tic shared by both
Obamas): Mrs. Obama is here to make sure you feel their pain.
Which is really your
pain. Because the hardships of a privileged Ivy League couple are
"exactly" the same as the travails of miners or service workers or
small-business owners: "So the bar has been shifting and moving in this
race," she grumbles, "but the irony is, the sad irony is, that's
exactly what is happening to most Americans in this country."
Don't tell Miss Michelle about the Great Depression or the Carter
Malaise. "Folks are struggling like never before," she seethes.
Well, yes, gas prices are up. Some food prices are rising. And
borrowers who bought more housing than they could afford are
underwater. But "struggling like never before"? Didn't they teach her
about Hoovervilles and stagflation?
In Michelle Obama, the
fear-mongering pot meets the angst-stirring kettle: "Fear," she froths,
"creates this veil of impossibility and it is hanging over all of our
But what Obama lacks in pride for her country and its
promise she more than makes up for with bottomless pride for her
husband. Her standard campaign speeches include at least a dozen
references to how "proud" she is of him. And of herself. And of
everyone who has overcome The Man and pierced the "veil of
impossibility" to get to the polls and vote Obama.
MSNBC report on a joint appearance by the Obamas on the "Today" show in
the wake of the Jeremiah Wright debacle included this tellingly
[Mrs. Obama]: " 'I'm so proud of how he has maintained his dignity, his cool, his honor.'
"Obama gently tried to interrupt, admitting to being embarrassed by the praise.
"'But I am proud of you,' she said.
"'I know,' he replied."
We all know. So get over yourself already, haughty spirit. Pride
doesn't photograph well. And bitterness leaves frown lines. Which means
Botox bills. Which "struggling folks" like you and your husband simply
Try smiling for once. It's cheaper.