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Funny Lady By: Tammy Bruce
FrontPageMagazine.com | Wednesday, October 02, 2002

On September 25, 2002, Barbra Streisand the reigning Self-Important Grand Dame of Full-of-Herself, shot off a memo to Congressman Dick Gephardt demanding the Democrats take the "offensive" when it came to Republicans and the war on terror.

Obviously, anyone can have their opinion about how things should be run in this country. We all certainly do, but we respect the serious nature and understand that this is not some hobby club meant to pass the time. It was Streisand's bizarre misspellings in the memo which has, appropriately, made the news. I found it particularly revealing of the extraordinary depth of the woman's incompetence. Courtesy of ever-vigilant Matt Drudge, we all can take a look at the Memo itself. A cleaned-up version can be found on Streisand's website.

For Streisand, this debacle exposes how careless she is while having the gall to criticize those who wake up every morning with the weight of the world on their shoulders. This woman, who feels compelled to direct foreign policy, condemns the president and the administration for their work, while she doesn't even take the time to get names right.

Streisand, sitting pretty and comfy in her digs in Malibu, has a staff, and an office, and has one thing to do: dash off her policy thoughts to Congress, a silly mélange of Leftist tripe. She also manages to misspell Gephardt (Gebhart), Saddam (Sadam), and Al Qaeda (Al Queda), the three principals in the letter and three names constantly in all news media — television, radio and print. But that's not all — her website also admits to the asinine mistake of having faxed the memo initially to the wrong fax number, a Republican office at the Capitol (maybe God is a Republican!).

Did her disastrous little foray into Important Things humble her? Of course not. Her website has a section called the "Truth Alert" where she complains that focus on her spelling problems have distracted people from the "truth" (or was that 'trooth?'). I'm sure it's all a Vast Right-Wing conspiracy concocted to make her look self-obsessed, clueless, arrogant, and sloppy. Or, of course, maybe she just is. She even goes so far as to whine on her website that she was a spelling bee champion! One thing she doesn't explain is why Hillary Clinton allegedly banned her from the White House. Now that should be on a Truth Alert!

Let's get real-the business of saving people from monsters belongs in the hands of people who know what they're doing-Streisand is not among them. The problem is someone as absurd as she has an impact simply because she is famous, and yet ironically, she is more removed from real life than anyone else. Politics for someone like her is a hobby, helping her to feel as though she isn't just the evening's entertainment, like any other circus sideshow. She doesn't feel important because she isn't. She is a success in the world's second oldest profession — which isn't much removed from the first.

From her perch in Malibu, while wringing her hands about world affairs, she has called President Bush and John Ashcroft, among others, "frightening." Well, gee, it seems like Babs hasn't gotten out of the house much! I have a travel itinerary which just may broaden her perspective just a tad about who is really frightening, especially for Jews who aren't rich, famous, and living in Malibu.

First, Babs, go to Israel, right now. And travel like many other Jews — forget the bodyguards and drivers, take the bus everywhere you go, and visit a few pizza parlors with young people who just want to enjoy life. Now who would you rather see jump onto the bus or run into the pizza parlor? A so-called Palestinian or John Ashcroft? Hmmm…

Next, I betcha the people in Southern Lebanon would love to see you. They probably haven't had a concert by anyone decent in years. I think singing songs from the Yentl movie would excite them. Gosh, would you prefer George W. Bush in the front row, or a bunch of Muslim extremists? Hmmm…

How about Cairo? Oh yeah, the Egyptians don't have a very good history with Jews, do they? How about Baghdad? Well, you'd probably like that — they think Dubya and Ashcroft are frightening, too! You'd at least have something in common, but stay away from the Kurdish region, I hear Saddam's gas attack will start there first.

Of course, it's not safe for Barbra Streisand to travel to any of these places, and she's not doing so because terrorists and mass murderers live there — people who dream of, and act on, killing as many people (Jews and Americans) as possible. Yes, it must be nice to be in your own little world where you can pretend you know what you're doing.

When the cow pats hit the fan about the memo, La Streisand did what any other self-important narcissist would do when caught being an ass — she blamed the memo and misspellings on an underling. It was also explained to us that the memo was "dictated" over the phone at a time when both she had her assistant, Margery Tabankin, were "emotional" about the issue.

Really? So, an underling was assigned this sensitive job, taking dictation from The Great One while needing to spell things phonetically. So, Streisand's office is hiring the backward? That's good to know. Maybe it's an affirmative action-type thing.

I will try one more thing. Maybe Babs has ignored clear thinking people for so long because we haven't been communicating in the same language. So, here, let me give it a shot:

"Deer Barbara Stryzand: Regarding whirled peas. Uhmeerica wheel give Sadam the two KFC choyces: crispy or extra crispy, sew pleez stop senting memos to Gebhart. Go back to sinking and ackting. Two deel with the bad gize, the whirled kneeds peepul who no what their dewing. Yoo don't. Leaf us alown."

Keep your fingers crossed. Maybe she will finally understand.

Tammy Bruce is a Fox News Channel Contributor and author of The Death of Right and Wrong.

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